Listening to the new Mumford album & the “broken” part of me wishes I’d be experiencing this with a certain someone who I’ve given my heart to a million times over, only to have it broken.
Well, now the healthy part of me wants to experience this with someone who cares about me!
I take this as a positive, & that I’m moving in the right direction. I too easily let this person back into my life after months of dormancy & I give him so much control over me.
Yes I am spending this beautiful night in my room, with my pink comforter & blue walls with one of my favourite bands playing & I do not feel alone tonight.
The last few weeks have been tough, but I see that I’m so much better off without this person lingering in my life.
The lyrics “So fuck your dreams” just played as I wrote that, felt like a little bit of retaliation, something to make me feel better. Right now I may be in this place, but eventually I’ll wish him well, for now, I wish him away.
I want, I need to follow my inner guide, and he’s no longer of my heart the way he used to be. I have no hate.
I just want the absolute best for myself.
Dear God, please help me find inner peace and give me the strength and courage to follow my inner guide.