It’s easy to say that our relationship goals are based on pop culture and society. We are bound to how society dictates the way life should be. We are mezmorized and influenced by the things we see in movies and hear in love songs thinking what we see and hear are how relationships should look.
#1. Go to college
#2. Start career
#3. Get married
#4. Have babies
= the formula to show society you are a life success
Goal: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim
My goal is to have a relationship based on mutual attraction, respect, and support. It is secure, committed, fun, and playful.
And again this has me circling back to relationship standards. I once heard that instead of following our feelings, we’d be better off following our standards. By doing this we’d get a clearer picture on what’s happening in our hearts and minds.
Do you believe two is better than one? I do. I believe in partnerships, and being the yin to someone’s yang. There is a balancing out of personalities, strengths and weaknesses when two people are perfectly paired. With a partnership, there is a better chance that each individual will succeed.
I came across this awesome series on YouTube about Relationship Goals, and here are some notes I took. Yes, it revolves around God, and even if you are not religious, there are some great takeaways from the sermon.
You can tell if someone is supposed to be in your life if the relationship is helping you. We tend to tolerate relationships that take away from us, stealing our peace, ravaging our joy, that have us up at night, “OMG is he going to break up with me!?” BREAK UP WITH HIM.
A relationship where the purpose isn’t known is opening a door to the devil. If we know the purpose, we won’t allow the cracks that let him into our relationships.
Often times we look for people to take the place of the things only God/we can give ourselves. The foundation looks like this:
#1. Gives us a place – God desires to put us in a place where we can have purpose in our lives. If you’re in a place and feel uncomfortable, it’s for your growth. We will always be disappointed if we’re unhappy with where we are.
#2. This place reveals our purpose
#3. We are then provided with provision, identity, and parameters
If you don’t have standards before you get into the relationship, the relationship will create the standard that which you live by.
God gave us these parameters before he gave us the person. And often we think we need the person to give us the things God gave us. He says people can give us purpose, identity, provisions etc. but only God can give us everything we need.
Allow God to fill us up – then the enemy (the ego) cannot get in. If God’s not enough, no person ever will be.
“When the purpose of the thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” Many of us have been trying to put people in the place of our identity, purpose, parameters, so they get abused and you get disappointed because they were never meant to go there.
There are people, friendships, relationships, business partners that are just right for us.
Our first goal is to know who we are and to be okay with where we’ve been placed. Our life’s purpose will be given to us as we listen and follow the provisions and parameters of our standards.
Reference: Relationship Goals