How do you handle the dating world? At this age, aren’t we all just looking for someone to balance us out and build a partnership with? The thought of being single at 40 terrifies me, but this may be my reality.
Back in the day, young adults would date one person (probably a neighbour or something) and then get married. Nowadays, there is no shortage of dick and pussy to choose from which makes the idea of settling down with one person incredibly difficult.
Me and the LTR just don’t mix. I’ve tried and failed so many times, so maybe I’m doing it wrong. So I ask, do you exclusively date one person at a time or do you juggle seeing multiple people?
Dating gets sticky when you try to do the juggling act. Or at least for me it does. That’s why three tends to be my max number of potential suitors. A sort of ranking system tends to happen when you do the dating dance. This is mostly based on connection, attraction and effort.
Guy A: The guy I am most excited about. We vibe, he puts in effort, we talk on the phone & text regularly, we go on dates. There is true relationship potential here and he becomes my dating priority.
Guy B: Nice guy, attractive, we vibe, he puts in minimal effort. We’ve maybe had a few phone convos, not too much texting, doesn’t ask me on dates. He’s like the “hey i’m bored, u up?” kinda guy.
Guy C: I don’t actively seek him out, but if I hear from him it’s always nice to do a quick catch-up. I’m not overly attracted to him, but will give it a shot if he shows he’s interested in me. We are on each other’s back burner, or so it seems.
I could really like Guy A, but with dating around, I meet Guy B. Guy B can be alluring and exciting at first. The whole addicted to the attraction phase happens. If I start to like B better, he now becomes A, and the scale shifts.
If things don’t progress with Guy A after a few dates, then maybe I’ll take a bigger interest in Guys B & C, effectively putting them up in the ranking, and Guy A now becomes Guy C. See what I mean when I call it a juggling act? And clearly it isn’t working for me because I am 35 and single.
Kinda sounds like I need a flow chart. Online dating happens so fast, you never know who you’re going to have any type of long term success with.
The alternative is to date exclusively, putting your eggs in one basket. But doing this is risky. You’re giving it all (your best years, your time, your energy) to one person that you hope will turn into the relationship you want. So many people don’t agree with this method. If you are single, act single, relationship coach Matthew Hussey urges this to single women every where.
So, if you’re not supposed to put all your eggs in one basket but wish to try and cultivate something with one particular person, how can we do this when we’re told to keep our options open. Anybody?