pussy problems

Bam Margera. I blame Bam Margera for my pussy insecurities. I was in my early twenties, getting my hair coloured at some overpriced Eaton Centre hair salon while reading an article in Rolling Stone. It was the first time I heard the term “FUPA”. “Fat Upper Pussy Area,” as Margera explained it. Up until that point I thought my privates were pretty normal. Sure, I had no porn-pussy, but I never thought too deeply about it. But apparently having a FUPA is a no-no. I fixated on this term while I sat in the salon chair having my hair processed. And because of this article I solidified the fact that my vagina wasn’t the prettiest. Turns out guys don’t want a female with a FUPA, they are in fact repelled by this. And over the years I have further evidence of men saying negative things about FUPAs, just adding to my insecurities.

If this makes you uncomfortable, stop reading now.

Having the lights off during sex is 100% normal for me. I like a little candle light sure, but forget it, sex with the lights on is NOT happening. I don’t want my full body exposed.

Truth be told I’m very insecure about my FUPA, and I am pretty sure it has repelled men in the past. So what can I do? How can I love all of me? It’s a fat upper pussy area. It doesn’t look good waxed, and when I do wax I’m susceptible to ingrown hairs. There are no workouts I can do to make it a SUPA (skinny upper pussy area). So what can I do? As I write this post I am now even thinking:

This must be the equivalent to a small dick? Oh god…..

Anyway, I think my only solution is going full bush. And here’s a helpful article I should have read eons ago about how to manicure your bush in case you need it too.

Flashbacks are now happening of one time when I was with someone and we both looked down at, ya know, the intercourse, and our FUPAs were basically rubbing together. And you literally couldn’t tell whose was whose. He made a joke about it which made me feel better actually. hah

Published by Vanessa

I've always wanted to be a writer. Here goes!

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