If we’re too preoccupied about appearing perfect we are going to start living inauthentically. We will be in our heads; we will examine and second guess every move we make and every word we say. Enough to make anyone go crazy, am I right?
It’s okay to make mistakes – mistakes are what make us grow. And if we do not grow we will repeat the same patterns until we learn to do different and see different, or until we die. This might be about putting into practice things that we don’t yet understand in order to see the bigger picture.
Quick moral of the story? Get out of your head and get out of your own way.
Louise Hay would have us recite: “I am perfect, whole and complete.”
But maybe she means it’s in our imperfections that make us perfect, whole and complete just the way we are. Accepting ourselves for our curiosities, silly questions, world views and idiosyncrasies.
“I accept myself for exactly who I am and where I’m at in this precise moment. I am perfect, whole and complete.”
I think some people don’t understand just how painful a breakup can be. Often times, friends and family of the afflicted will provide advice like: “you can do better”, “your ex ain’t shit”, “there are plenty of fish in the sea” and a slew of other things meant to help you out. Don’t get me wrong, the shoulders to cry on are much appreciated and needed, but sometimes these people haven’t experienced a break up before, so like… how can they relate?
The problem is, I think some people do not understand emotional pain doesn’t just go away after one week of bed rest, chicken noodle soup and vitamins. No. It lingers. And as the realization that relationship is not coming back sinks in further, you may re-experience the feelings of sadness and grief you felt in the first place weeks and months later.
Why? Triggers. Triggers exist all around us. When the radio plays a certain song, when you drive into a certain neighbourhood, when you see a meme he or she would have appreciated…
Sometimes it can feel like we have to start all over again. When you’re so sure about something and then it doesn’t turn out how you planned, well yeah, this can be a huge bummer.
It’s a time when maybe we have to admit we were wrong. This can bring on guilt, anger and uncertainty. Perhaps we feel we’ve lost part of our identity and no longer know which way to turn. It’s a lot to process when you had hope for a relationship.
And now is the time to reflect, regroup and recommit to your values and life.
I’m not sure about you, but I can be a cranky mother fucker often times a week. And when in the low vibration funk, I can be irritable, unmotivated, and depressed. When we aren’t feeling right we won’t be able to help ourselves, help others and perform at our best.
However, there are things we can do for ourselves in the moment to shift out of the shit mood ASAP. Some days it’s harder than others to pull ourselves out of the misery – but if you ever become aware that your mood is funked out, here are some tips I’ve learned along the way:
Growing up I was a bad, bad kid: a bully, an over-eater, a complainer, spoiled and overall a mean girl. According to the four agreements, this is the agreement I made with myself, and in order to move on from this, I need to break this agreement and come up with new ones.
This would also be part of the negative self-talk we hear spiritual teachers discuss. I guess I thought this life would be easier, but I am just so god damn sensitive.
Just read a few articles on stress and ageing. Turns out, when we’re stressed, our cells start to regenerate slower, causing us to lose collagen and elastin resulting in more fine lines and darker circles… and it gets worse, these effects could last FOR-EV-ER! (Read article at your own peril.)
I’ve talked to a lot of girlfriends, and this corona virus has definitely caused many of us to break out and this makes sense because, according to the article ” the nervous system and skin tissue are created in the same embryonic layer, the ectoderm”.
Moral of the story – don’t neglect your skin care routine, and take care of your mind and body to lower stress. Yoga, reading, meditating, showing gratitude.
Who knew the stress of heartache could get so bad that it permanently shows up on your face? Now if this isn’t something to light a fire under your ass to keep you moving after a failed relationship, I don’t know what is!
With exercise, as with in life, it’s necessary to take time-outs to recover. When you’re benching 75 lbs, for example, you must take a rest after 8-12 reps, for at least 30-90 seconds, maybe longer depending on your body. We do this so during the next set, we can come at it from a prepared place, where the muscle has had time to rest. If we jump into the next round of 12 without adequately resting our muscles, we may not be able to finish the set, we may lack proper form, and ultimately we won’t be working toward the results we’re seeking.
Similar to the emotional recovery process, but in this instance, we give rest to our mind, heart, and soul in between dates, and heart aches. You can say it’s kind of like the time-outs you got in grade school where you sit in the corner and think about all the things you’ve done wrong.