The Covid-15 is real!

Carbs carbs and more carbs, this is what I’ve been eating day after day during pandemic, and it’s starting to show!

Oh weight loss, why does the struggle gotta be so real?

People will come to me and tell me how they know they need to lose weight, that they no longer like the way their clothes fit, or how they look in the mirror. It’s hard to keep someone motivated on their weight loss journey because losing weight is a process! And the process can feel like a struggle. The reason for that is because we want those instant results, that instant gratification: fat melting, toned arms, flat stomachs. We think that after a couple of days of mindful eating + cardio we will be “skinny”. SMH.

I’m sorry to say, weight loss is hard. If it was easy, everyone would do it!

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Easy vs. Hard.

Is it easy to have a slice of cake? Yes. 

Is it hard to resist that sweet, creamy, light cake vanilla temptation? 100 x Yes!

That right there proves losing weight is not easy and it’s not for everyone. We live in a society drowning in junk food, constantly offered cookies, chips and crap on the regular.

Here’s a hard truth: it’s going to take months of discipline, embracing change and saying YES to ourselves in a whole new way to see the results we want.

When you think about it, accumulating weight takes months and years of poor eating habits and inactivity. So, when it comes to losing it, it’s important to recongize that we need to give ourselves patience and trust with the process.  

Some important factors to weight loss success:

#1. Mental toughness: Having the mentality that this is what you want! Making your mind up that you want to lose weight.

Two of my aunt’s were talking:

Zia L: “How do you do it [weight loss]?”

Zia AM: “Step one is up here,” as she pointed to her head, “you have to decide you want it.”…and that right there is some mad truth!

#2. Consistency: Consistently exercising 3-5 days per week, consistently saying “NO!” to unhealthy food choices. Being consistent with our healthy actions is like planting a seed that we must water and give sunshine to every day for it to grow.

#3. Body Acceptance: Loving and appreciating your body exactly as it is right now. Yep, that includes our tummies, thick thighs and bat wings. Give it up to all the things our bodies do for us: breathing, seeing, smelling, feet to stand on, legs that move us, teeth that chew our food – you get the point! And for those Moms out there – you gave birth! Holy heck! What an amazing feat!! Our bodies are pretty awesome and we need to let our holy temple know how much we love and appreciate it.

#4. Awareness: Taking the time to be aware of how your body feels. For example, how does your body feel after feeding it a nourishing meal VS. a sugary bowl of cereal? Are you more energized? Less bloated? Or, how do you feel after a long walk or spending time in nature?

Our bodies will respond to how we fuel it. Sugar = inflamation,  refined carbs= bloating for a lot of people, whereas whole foods will leave you feeling and looking your healthiest.

When we are aware of our bodily sensations we are equipped to choose better.

Side note: Did you know 4 grams of sugar = 1 teaspoon. So if a can of Coke has 39 grams of sugar, that’s 9.75 tsp of sugar… that’s a lot of fucking sugar.

#5. Speak your goals: Write them down, say them out loud, and share them with a trusting love one who can keep you accountable.

I understand that if I want my body to look a certain way, there are things I need to do in order to achieve those goals.

Being disciplined is hard! It’s easy to give in for the quick fix of junk food. Sugar is a drug after all and weight loss is very much a mental game.

The steps to weight loss are clear, and if you follow it, it’s actually pretty simple: you have to make better choices. It’s about not eating the white stuff, and if you are, don’t do it two days in a row. It’s about discipline, and asking yourself if the food choice you’re about to make is going to help you reach your goal or detour you, it’s about knowing the difference between appetite and actually being hungry.

If losing weight is something you actually want to do, try a move of empowerment and kindly turn down that slice of cake while saying “YES” to you, your body, and your goals!

judgement detox.

“Your truth is what heals” – Gabby Bernstein

We can’t blame other people for not giving us what we want and need when we want and need it. We all have our own “stuff” going on, and coming from a place of understanding and compassion may be the wisest thing we can do for our own peace of mind.

I’m currently reading Gabby Bernstein’s Judgement Detox, and it urges readers to leave the judgement on the shelf.

People are who they are; You are who you are.

They are the way they are due to their beliefs, values, standards, upbringing, environment, personal life, and so many other life factors.

We judge other’s because we are judging ourselves, we feel a lack of…, insecure, vulnerable, and a slew of other not so pretty feelings.

Gabby says:
– We get a quick hit of self-righteousness when we judge others, and it’s a reliable crutch when we feel hurt.

– Our judgements toward others make us feel better about ourselves. She goes on to say when we judge our energy weakens and we become unaligned with who we want to be.

….And food for thought, maybe that’s someone who leads with love, compassion and understanding?

Continue reading “judgement detox.”

a Sunday pick-me-up

When you need a little pick me up, try Transforming:

Fear into Courage

Not Enough into Plenty

Old Patters of Behaviour into Fresh Responses

Anger into Cleansing Breath

Sorrow into Hope

Grief into Rebirth

Loneliness into support

Dis-empowerment into Confident Action

Creative Dormancy into Full Expression

Superficiality into True Being

Masks into Love of What Really Is

Shortsightedness into Eagle Vision

Limitations into Possibility

Projections into Conscious Ownership

Stuckness into Movement

Depression into Light

Bondage into Freedom

Control into a Loose, Flexible Grip

Obsession into Letting it Be

Anxiety into Flow

Fragmentations into Wholeness

Shame into Acceptance of the Process of Life

Mistrust into Trust

Judgement into Allowing




relationship goals

It’s easy to say that our relationship goals are based on pop culture and society. We are bound to how society dictates the way life should be. We are mezmorized and influenced by the things we see in movies and hear in love songs thinking what we see and hear are how relationships should look.

#1. Go to college

#2. Start career

#3. Get married

#4. Have babies

= the formula to show society you are a life success

Goal: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim

My goal is to have a relationship based on mutual attraction, respect, and support. It is secure, committed, fun, and playful.

And again this has me circling back to relationship standards. I once heard that instead of following our feelings, we’d be better off following our standards. By doing this we’d get a clearer picture on what’s happening in our hearts and minds.

Do you believe two is better than one? I do. I believe in partnerships, and being the yin to someone’s yang. There is a balancing out of personalities, strengths and weaknesses when two people are perfectly paired. With a partnership, there is a better chance that each individual will succeed.

Continue reading “relationship goals”

that funky spunk

Reader beware, this is going to be unappetizing.

Yup. That’s right, we’re talking about semen. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had my share of funky tasting spunk, jizz, cum, spooge, whatever you want to call it. And you never know what you’re going to get when you’re with a new lover. The mental scenario is usually something like this when you’re performing oral sex: “Okay, he’s about to blow, I hope his cum tastes decent!”


From sweet to tasteless to downright CRUDE, I’ve experienced a palette of flavours when it comes to jizz.

So I was wondering, how much of an impact diet has on semen. The article I read said there hasn’t been enough research to really know, but from my personal research (ahem), I can tell you it makes a huge difference. For example: someone who smokes, eats processed foods, and sugar may have semen that tastes bitter, pungent or sour.  Whereas someone who eats relatively clean will likely have semen which may taste sweet.

Some men have this kind of weird obsession with their ejaculate – having an urge for women to want it, taste it, and frankly eat it up. So I ask: do you think a man would change his diet if he knew it affected the way his semen tasted? And if so, how is this even a discussion you bring up?

universal tests

To prove you are in alignment with your intentions is determined by if we pass or fail a series of universal tests laid out in front of us.

This is how it works: The magic of the cosmos will present us with a circumstance in order to gauge how intent we are on our intentions. I find that most of these tests are integrity tests.

You can kinda break it down like this:

#1. We set our standards and values;

#2. The Universe throws something our way to see if we really stand by those standards and values; and then

#3. The Universe carries on accordingly with the information we provide it.

For example, if we wish to no-longer attract a certain type of person (deadbeat, loser, no job), we tend to get that exact person delivered to us! This is the test. Whether or not we take that person up on that date, exchange phone numbers, or even bother to reply, is entirely up to us. Our response dictates to the universe what we are willing or unwilling to accept. AND it will keep presenting us with the same situation until we chose to act in accordance with our intentions. It’s not just about speaking out our intentions, but we must live – them – through.

Here is a current personal example:

Continue reading “universal tests”

What are your dating standards?

Let’s take a moment to talk about DATING STANDARDS

Sticking to my dating standards during the pandemic has been difficult, or rather, I’ve been lazy. Bypassing the tinder texting phase and almost instantly sharing my phone number, bypassing my social media non-share practices and sharing my online life with a stranger, bypassing the feel-the-vibe-out phone call before a meet and greet…and boy oh boy do I now see more than ever why I have these measures in place. They truly help weed out people you don’t vibe with.

I fully understand why my dating practices during pandemic haven’t been inline with the type of relationship I want to cultivate, and even the type of I high-value person I strive to show up as. All this curtailing of my standards was in an effort to find connection in a time where being social with the outside world had become pretty obsolete.

…and you know what they say, awareness is key.

So after a short Covid fling, I took some time to re-evaluate my standards, and here are some edits to my long list of what I’m looking for:

  • someone who opens doors for me
  • calls me his gf
  • has a clean living space
  • texting back within reasonable time frame
  • wants to see me, excited to see me
  • makes me breakfast
  • not into video games

I read a quote recently, “Don’t change your authenticity for someone else’s approval” and it rang like sirens through my head. You know this is happening when you start second guessing your moves, or editing your responses and over thinking your outfits. In these times, we need to take a step back, and maybe pray and ask for a little help.

A Covid fling and it’s permanency

As we slowly get back to normal life only time will tell if your Covid fling will last.
Oh yes, I’m talking about that companion we had to FaceTime with through the night, to go on physical distance walks with, to text during the day when bored af. How will these relationships fair once we’re all back to regular life?
No more people at your disposal. No more using each other for momentary companionship. The fling is over!
As we reignite with friends, head back to work, and carry on business as usual, the dynamic between you and your fling is definitely going to change! And now I’m asking myself whether or not these Covid flings will turn into something more, or fizzle out.
I suppose only time will tell…but I do offer this insight:
To determine whether or not your fling has staying power may be determined by how far sexually you went with your fling. If you gave it up before they could take you out on at least 3 proper dates, then you’re likely to be doomed! They will feel no need to take you out for patio drinks as you undervalued your worth.
I do realize this, of course, is only a limited belief placed on us by society. It’s up to us if we choose to have the same belief system or not.
…Alas it’s kinda true. I joked to my Covid fling, “Now that we’re in Phase 2, you can take me out on a proper date!” And although he said he looks forward to it, he also joked that he doesn’t have to because I already gave it up. Tsk tsk.
Side note: To be completely honest I do not have an interest to sleep with him again. At least not right now. Sooooo he is going to have to woo me and try and earn it again.
—End End End—

A brief follow-up: It’s like looking in a mirror

On second thought, we shouldn’t put our expectations onto other people. For one, I’m a firm believer in expectations leading to let down, and two, we have to allow people to just be who they are.

When we put expectations onto others we are kind of trying to control the situation. Rather, let us allow people to show us for who they are. And then, it is our choice what we wish to do with that information.

Y’all pick up what I’m laying down?

We dictate our standards and values.

It’s like looking in a mirror

Anytime I find myself in the bathroom of a new beau, I give myself a second look in the mirror. It’s that “here we go again” kinda look. And in each bathroom mirror I think “maybe this is the one? maybe this is the last time I’ll catch myself in the mirror of a new guy?” Well, since I’m still single, I guess my most perfect mirror match is still out there.

7 months in the mirror prior, a couple weeks in the last, the dating cycle continues as re-evaluating standards is a constant as the relationship progresses, or regresses.

Question: How important is it to you for the person you are seeing to make you breakfast in the morning after you spent the night? I guess I’ve come to learn it’s something of importance to me. This act of kindness shows me you care about me, value me and find me special. So when the guy I am seeing chose not to walk across the street to pick up bacon and eggs this morning, it put a sour taste in the mouth.

I mean, he could’ve at least put in the effort after I had his dick in my mouth.

Shame on me? or Shame on him?